For a long long time I've wanted to pursue various musical ideas that have nagged at the back of my brain, though I've usually found myself too busy to feel I could justify the time. With the advent of Covid 19 and the whole lockdown thing, I found myself not only having a little more time for personal projects but a need to find things to help maintain some emotional balance in the face of all the crazy out there. Aside from gardening, this ended up being this particular music project.
The song Porch Light has long been a sort of personal anthem for me and has evolved a little over the years, but has always felt like a successful expression of something important to me - the reality of knowing your soulmate is out there but not having met them. However, it didn't cover all the bases. So, I decided to write an album's worth of songs to try to round out the ideas.
The songs linked on this page are the home-recorded versions of those ten songs, including Porch Light, that I hope to go into a studio and record more professionally in the near future. I'm currently working on improving my singing voice (I've been trying to find it since highschool) and will probably re-record the vocals one more time on these recordings before going into a studio. I want to make sure I'm going to be happy with the results...
Sort of the origin story for the concept... early optimism about the romantic idea of love that the young typically see. This focuses on the feeling of knowing something you can't see is really real. (With a fun nod to one of my favorite 80's songs at the end.)
The one song that existed pre-2020. Written to sum up a feeling I'd get when remembering old relationships and thinking about what I'd wanted to find in the first place but never had seemed to. The original music for this one was more depressing, but I ended up coopting the chords from another song I'd written that was more lighthearted because it seemed to fit better.
The only one without piano. This one is about the crossroads between despair and hope, realization and belief.
Title track for the project... the moon has been a central figure throughout my life. I used to go for walks at night all the time when I was a teenager. Something out of reach but always there. It felt like a good analogy for how I feel about the love of my life.
A little more pessimistic... looking a little at the fear that exists despite the thread of belief that seems to linger on. Trying to make sense of it all.
One of the first of this group that was written after Porch Light... a slightly dark humorous appreciation of the illogical persistence of faith in love unrequited.
Sometimes a hope that doesn't die leads to frustration and annoyance. Certainty of something being true doesn't automatically bring relief or comfort. This talks about the day to day reality of a missing soulmate.
A more rational exploration of what's sad about not being with the one you love.
A low point in the emotional cycle, sometimes you just can't see how you can keep on keeping on, especially when it seems like everyone else does. This is about the hidden question in believing your soulmate is out there... does it makes sense to hope?
Originally meant to be a spoken telling of the soulmates story from Plato's Symposium, I decided to instead try to tell the story in a song so it would more closely fit with the feel of the rest of the songs. It still sits a bit apart from the other songs, and is included to fill in the context from a more generic perspective. It's about why we feel the way we do about love.