July 17th, 1998
I'm sitting outside the place I used to live
Thinking about you in the bed that's not mine anymore
It's way too damned late for me to be sitting here
In more ways than one, but it doesn't seem to be stopping me
I've never been so torn in my twenty five years on this earth
I want to be with you, the one person who can crush my soul
Our love is the sickly baby that cannot be unborn
Which I can't seem to stop hugging to my chest
I want to beg you to find some way to make it live
But it would only hurt you more to ask for what I cannot give
I wish it was fair to tell you how much I'd give to have you back
To tell you what I had to cut from my heart to leave
If there's anything that makes me believe in a God who doesn't care
If there's anything that could make me walk away from life
It's the way I feel sitting here looking at your dark window
And seeing the mockery this universe has made of love through me